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New Years Non-Resolutions!

Greetings! So how are the New Year’s resolutions going so far?
Sometimes we find our resolutions (or lack of fulfilling them) pack on more stress.
Here’s an example of my resolutions over the last 3 years:
2 Years Ago: I resolve to join a gym and work out every single day!
Last Year (revised): I resolve to join a gym and work out 3x a week.
This Year : I resolve to drive by my gym at least 3x a week.
Don’t let the stress of new habits get to you. Give yourself a break and take credit for trying to
create a new habit. Remember, it takes at least 21 days to change a habit. That means in order to
start or stop doing something, it will take time before it feels comfortable.
Work through the discomfort by knowing you’re being positive and proactive. The discomfort
is actually a good sign of your growing pains.
Stay focused on your new habits. Print them on a large sheet of paper and hang them on your
desk at work or on your mirror at home–somewhere you will see them often.
Don’t overload yourself with new things. If you have a long list of improvements (or selfremodeling,
as I like to call it) then only tackle one or two before moving on.
Changing habits should feel like tweaking tune-ups, not major overhauls.
Soon the newer habits will replace old ones with more productive ways to do things.
Remember, you’re either moving toward your goal or away from it. You can only inhale or
exhale at once–you cannot do both at the same time. Focus on the end result of what you’re new
habits will accomplish. Stay light!
Training Tip: Move motivational posters around your staff’s office area. This helps achieve a
“new” look and keeps them from becoming part of the wallpaper. Consider rotating them on a
regular basis.
This has been another quick look at STRESS-RELIEF from the folks at http://www.kelliv.com.
Have a super week, and pass the lightness on! Take care, Kelli V. [email protected]

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Bless yore lil h-e-a-r-r-r-rr-t!!

Today, ask yourself: Is the comment I’m about to make a “blessing” (sincere praise) or a “dissing” (passive-aggressive)? If there’s doubt, probably best to leave it out.

In Texas we have this wonderful catch-all phrase and we use it like an etch-a-sketch erase of a back-handed compliment. Example: “Nice dress, but not on you…“Bless yore lil h-e-a-r-r-r-rr-t !” You think you’ve been blessed, when you’ve really been ‘dissed.’

Back-handed compliments lurk everywhere. They’re like giant take-aways from a real issue. Comments like, “Did you lose your yard guy?” or “It must be frustrating gaining back all that weight…” or “It’s great knowing your kid passed…with the curved grade and all…

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Ethos, Pathos, Logos and Laugh-os

Today, Ask Yourself: Where can I practice “Laugh-os” this week and look at things more lightly?

Quote: “She who laughs, lasts.” Kelli S. Vrla, CSP

Distilled Nugget: What helps persuade others both in drama and in life?

• Ethos: having ethical, moral character
• Pathos: appealing with passion
• Logos: appealing with logic

But don’t forget to add my favorite Greek trait: Laugh-os (laff-os), the ability to look at things lightly and with a great sense of humor. Perhaps the greatest gift you can give yourself (and others) is a sense of humor. Find difficult situations amusing. Remember, you will always find what you seek. Seek lightness and it will lay itself at your feet.

Title: Ethos, Pathos, Logos, and Laugh-os

Icon: 21619632, hysterics, ha, face, laughing

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Let There Be P’s on Earth

Today, Ask Yourself About the Four “P’s”: Positive, Polite, Professional, Proactive: How many of the four Ps can I practice in my next interaction? In all my interactions?

Quote: “The glue that holds all relationships together – including the relationship between the leader and the led is trust, and trust is based on integrity.” Brian Tracy

Distilled Nugget: Practice the four Ps in all you do. Strive to be Positive, Polite, Professional, Proactive. Positive: Tell people what they can have or do, not what they can’t. Polite: Remember to use simple courtesies like “Please” and “Thank you.” Professional: Always be above board. Pretend you’re being followed by a paparazzi of cameras at all times. What would you like to see on the six o’clock news about you? Proactive: Be ever mindful of moving transactions forward. Focus forward on fixing, rather than backward on blaming.

Title: Let There Be P’s on Earth!

Icon: 22322163 – GUY driving with PEACE sign

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Fear=Lack of Knowledge

Today, Ask Yourself: What can I know more of this week that can help me fear something less?

Quote: “Success in business requires training and discipline and hard work. But if you’re not frightened by these things, the opportunities are just as great today as they ever were.” –David Rockefeller

Distilled Nugget: Knowledge is the antidote for fear. If ever you find that you are fearful of something, you must strive to know more about it because knowledge controls fear. The odds are good that someone knows a bit more about this situation than you do. Strive to find out more with all the resources available to you: friends, foes, Internet, books, tapes, seminars, etc.

Title: Fear = Lack of Knowledge

Icon: 1330524 (ENLARGE as much as possible; or this one if you cannot enlarge the above one: 14733837 Man being pulled into computer by scary hands!

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Expect Wisdom From Unexpected Places

For today, ask yourself: When I’m faced with unsolicited  wisdom  in the form of advice, can I focus on letting it soak in versus judging the merits of it on-the-spot?” ( Can I practice by saying, “Thanks for the feedback” or “Wow, I never thought of it that way,” and just walk away for now?)

Distilled Nugget: Once I was doing a Word Find (quite well) on a plane when a six-year-old said, “It looks like you could use help.” He said, “It’s easier and quicker to put a line through the words instead of circling them.” Part of me wanted to take him to the mat, but when I stopped to ponder his suggestion, I found it did save half the time, effort, and resources (ink). Wisdom does not discriminate; it flows when it’s true. Be open for it to find you from anyone or anywhere.

Title: Expect Wisdom From Unexpected Places

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What’s Plan B?

For Today, Ask Yourself: What’s my Plan B on a project I’m working on this week?

Quote: “Every single life only becomes great when the individual sets upon a goal or goals which they really believe in, which they can really commit themselves to, which they can put their whole heart and soul into.” Brian Tracy

Distilled Nugget: I met a woman who craved structure so much she wanted to laminate her “To-Do” list. Reality says that her plans would change WHILE she was laminating the sheet! If you’re always open to a Plan B, then you’ll have less stress and be more productive. Ask, “What’s Plan B?” even when you don’t have a clue what it is. This will get your mind going in the direction of solutions, not worries. Have a couple of ideas about what to do if Plan A doesn’t work out.

Title: What’s Plan B?

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Q T I P – Quit Taking It Personally!

Today, Ask Yourself: When can I be ready to use my QTIP strategy this week and with whom?

My Greek grandfather would point to his forehead and say, ‘You measure a person’s height from here up.” By Kelli S. Vrla, CSP

QTIP: Quit taking it personally! It’s just that simple. If someone asks you, “When will this be finished?” and you answer with a heavy sigh, eye roll, and a dramatic delivery, “Can’t you see I’m working as fast as I can on this?!” Perhaps you’ve not “QTIP-ed” it. When we go literal with our answer, the wounded, dramatic tone slips away. Otherwise we risk feeding the fire of defensiveness and the cycle perpetuates.

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Know What Makes People Tick

Today’s challenge, ask yourself: Whose Pride Buttons can I make note of this week, and how can I mention it to let them know I respect what’s important to them?

“All successful people men and women are big dreamers. They imagine what their future could be, ideal in every respect, and then they work every day toward their distant vision, that goal or purpose.” Brian Tracy

We surround ourselves with Pride Buttons: pictures of loved ones, awards we’ve won, etc. Notice these. Ask: “What do you love most about your job?” These things drive us and get us up in the morning. Recognize Pride Buttons, and focus on them when you or others get frustrated or swamped. Remind me how I love the excitement of problem solving or the thrill of a challenge. Point to the pictures in my office to remind me why I do what I do.

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